Final Communication Blog

I would like to say Thank you to everyone for all of their shared knowledge and wisdom. It is nice to hear from those who have been in the field awhile and learn from you all. I look forward to seeing you all in our next class.

Adjourning Groups

The adjourning phase of a group is a time for reflection on what has happened during the time together. It is a time to look at success and failures and decide whether the group will simply now depart each other or perhaps take on another project. If the team built trust there may be lasting relationships and networking that are taken from the group. It is an essential part of the process because it not only adds closure but can provide a clear record of things learned for future groups.
In the military we form groups for so many things. I have been on groups that we call “process improvements”, designed to improve the way we support our staff and patients to better serve our patient and give top notch care. I have been on groups to plan promotions, awards, retirements and sadly many to organize memorial services for fallen soldiers. We form groups to make decisions on how to spend morale funds and improve base services for our young military population as well as their families. Depending on the type of group, we may adjourn by having a dinner, party or maybe even a BBQ.
Groups with clear goals that result in high achievement are always the hardest to leave. These groups make you feel like you are really accomplishing something and adding to the mission. These are also the groups that we tend to build bonds, friendships and network for future needs. The groups that lack this feeling of accomplishment seem more of a waste of time and are very easy to leave.

Conflict Resolution

I recently experienced a conflict with the Director of my daughter’s daycare. The day care lost one of my automatic payments so I had to go in person and give them a hardcopy check. I asked them to please discard the “misplaced” check if found and gave them the check number. A few days later the check was found and the daycare tried to cash it regardless of the fact that I asked them not to. The director is trying to make me pay for the charge they incurred trying to cash a cancelled check. I tried to explain to the director that it was the staff that misplaced the check and that they were informed not to cash it so I should not be charged for their two mistakes. The director would not listen, argued over me and even gave me other parent’s personal information which was very unprofessional. Trying to speak to her was obviously not going to work. I then went back home and typed up the scenario and made a copy of all my payments including the check that the day care lost and the one that I replaced it with. I am hoping that this factual information will help the director to understand, without being able to argue, what took place. I have learned that written communication can sometimes take the face to face confrontation out of a disagreement and allow time for contemplation. I have also learned that if a person is intent on arguing with you and will not listen; arguing will not resolve the issue but only make it worse. I am still waiting on resolution of my situation.

Who I am as a Communicator

I was not surprised to find that the way I view myself and the way others view me differ. That is normally how human nature works. I have always had a fear of public speaking but have had to speak in public quite often throughout my career. I scored myself at a 48 on the communication survey while my husband scored me at 38 and my coworker scored me at 31. My husband knows I do not like to speak in public yet he also has seen me do it for my job and be successful at it. My coworkers have seen me speak and do not know that I have that fear. Therefore my coworker scored me as if I didn’t have this great fear.
My listening styles did not surprise me at all. All of the career and personality tests I have taken throughout my life have indicated that I am a people person. I have always been sensitive and my feeling hurt for others when they are in pain or need. I always mother people and love to help people with their problems. We all grouped me into Group 1 during this survey indicating the same people oriented personality. I love being around people and talking and learning about them.
I do not like confrontation yet I will stand up for what I believe in and let my opinion be known. I scored a 64 on the verbal aggressive survey yet my coworker scored me at a 56. This is because I listen to everyone’s point and do not belittle anyone because we all have different opinion. On the other hand my husband scored me higher with an 81. This is because we have a very different relationship and obviously will argue our points more aggressively than professionally.

Communication and Culture

I have been around a diverse group of people my entire life. I have deployed and traveled around the world with the military where I have had the opportunity to communicate with people of all cultures and languages. In my squadron we have folks that range from Hispanic, Caucasian, Jamaican, African American, African, Indian, Russian and so many more. It is impossible to not be diverse in the military. The military also offers courses in diversity constantly to make sure new members integrate well and seasoned members have refresher courses. I am scheduled to attend a diversity course next month to learn the difference in Army and Air Force culture because we are integrating the two services here in Tx. Even in my own personal life, my daughter is half Filipino and my husband is Hispanic. I have gay and lesbian friends as well as friends of all different religions to include Catholic, Mormon, Muslim and Wiccan. I have found that other than an obvious language barrier, communication is no different no matter who I am speaking to. If you always have a conversation and respect the other person, communication can occur naturally and amicably. If I do not understand the intent of what the other person is saying, I merely ask "what does that mean?" and give them a chance to explain it to me instead of assuming something that might not be true. I find that the most difficult time to accomplish succinct communication is when corresponding to colleagues via email. Email tone and intent can quickly turn into miscommunication and cause problems in the workplace. I find that often times I have to overly clear and polite in an email to the receiver does not mistake rudeness. The only time I have found where communication has to altered has been in places like Saudi Arabia. This culture has such a different view of women that it made communication difficult. I had to have a male with me at all times to speak to the local nationals there because they do not speak to women. The few Saudi Army guards that would speak to me were fascinated by Western culture and intrigued by women in positions of power.The three strategies that I consistently use are Respect, Active listening and having an Open mind. Without these three our reception will be blocked before we even begin to communicate.

Non Verbal Communication

The television show that I chose to view is called Bones. We recorded an episode on Direct TV so that I could decipher the nonverbal cues. There seemed to be one group of main characters that worked in a huge lab doing some sort of autopsy on the remains of deceased bodies. The two main characters that we in the field and traveling together seemed to have some conflict. Their body language seemed to be telling each other that they did not agree with what they were saying. There were two other characters in the Lab together and they seemed very close. The female was pregnant and the male was always lingering around so I assumed that is here husband. An African American female would appear in and out of the office and seemed very much in charge. Once I turned the sound on, I found out that the first two characters who seemed to disagree a lot were Bones and Booth and they really have an old crush on each other and a high respect for each others opinions. I was correct about Angela and the man with her, they were married. The woman who exuded so much confidence was indeed the boss as well.
Although nonverbal cues normally speak loud and clear, it is obvious that they can still be interpreted incorrectly. This assignment reiterates the importance of our non-verbal cues in daily communication and how they can defiantly make a strong point.

Communication

• My stepmother is a conference coordinator for Tennessee State University and has excellent communication skills. She always makes it a point to research the group that she is coordinating for and becomes knowledgeable on their charters and issues which allows an insight into their needs. Knowing your audience is a key factor in effective communication. She has always been very articulate and this shows when she is speaking to her conference groups. She has an ability to always be calm no matter what chaos is storming around her and this translates into confidence and competence. She has great skill in avoiding and resolving conflict which is great to have when you are constantly facilitating large groups of people with their own bias, opinions and needs. Her conversation skills make people feel welcome and comfortable enough to join in and feel a part of the group. I believe that mastering all of these skills are important and necessary and communication and strive to obtain them myself.

Professional Hopes and Goals

My one hope would be to not only make the children feel safe, loved and comfortable to also make the families feel that same way. I have had the awful experience of having my child cry when we drove near her daycare and see the teachers with an uncaring attitude. Of course I pulled her right out of there. I have also had the pleasure of leaving her with a teacher who actually said “I love you” and my child felt that. I want to ease the stress on children and families and create that loving environment for them to spend their days. I know most parents are in the same situation I am, we have to work. Worrying about my child all day causes great stress and anxiety that no parent should have to handle.

One goal I have would be to work on those curriculums that do more than just explain the holidays. It would be nice to present a different culture monthly where children could in depth some of how that culture lives. It could even be a weekly project for that culture during the month that explains the food, religion and as much to the depth that the children will understand. A good starting point would be to talk about all the cultures of the children with in the classroom.

I would like to thank all of you who are already in the early childhood field making a difference. Foe me, being in the military, it is awesome to hear all of your real-world stories as I prepare to retire and start this new career. Thanks so much for sharing and I look forward to seeing you in our net class!

Welcoming Families From Around the World

In my scenario I will choose to work in a hospital because that is what I currently do. When we are deployed, unfortunately, the host country children often become casualties that we treat in our Military Treatment Facilities (MTFs). If we have any type of natural disasters we will definitely be assisting children and families from other countries. The country my little one and her family will be coming from is China. That is somewhere I have not been and do not know much about. My first three steps will be to educate myself on where this child is coming from. In order to learn more about the environment and culture that this child has been raised in there are several websites that can be utilized. The CIA World Fact Book which can be located at: https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/ is a very good demographics site. This site will help us learn about the geography, education, poverty level and other important facts about the country. Another that we use often is called Military One Source and can be located at: http://www.militaryonesource.com/MOS.aspx. This web site offers international assistance with such issues as translators, mental health issues and so many other problems that we might encounter. They even create Sesame Street books that address children's issues. The last website would be the UNICEF site located at: http://www.unicef.org/. This web site specializes in the assistance they have offered to children around the world and will be a good website to learn from. In using all these websites I would educate the staff and any other people that will be involved in care or any other activities this child might be involved in. This way we can all understand what type of culture and life she might be coming from. Also I would like to ensure that the environment is as inviting and comfortable for her as possible so that we can reduce her fears and anxiety of being in a new and scary place. Hopefully all of this will not only broaden my own perspective but also those around me while making this child and her family safe and happy.

Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Oppression

One incident that I clearly remember was when I was a bit younger. I have always been very diverse and had friends of all race and colors. When I was living in North Carolina I was good friends with a group of Marines an hour away. We would spend nearly every weekend together. My best guy friend, Tony, is African American. One weekend he drove out to pick me up and bring me back to the Marine base for the day. As we were walking around in the nearby town African American women would shout obscene comments from their window about my being Caucasian and Tony being black. That scenario obviously game me no chance for rebuttal or education. That same weekend a bunch of us went dancing together and a few white guys saw me dancing with Tony and for a few minutes I thought there would be a riot. We quickly left in the name of safety. Both of these incidents made me extremely angry that people were so close minded and even cared that my friend and I were together. These two incidents did not afford an opportunity for greater equality at the time but I have always emphasized the importance of acceptance and a zero tolerance for prejudice to those around me. I am thankful that the military has come so far as to have a zero tolerance and equal opportunities offices to report any incidents to.

Microaggression In Action

The most recent and blatant example of microaggression I have witnessed involves my husband, Ernest. Ernest has a best friend who is Caucasian and from Pennsylvania named Matt. Matt’s parents came to NM to visit him and he introduced them to Ernie. When his dad met Ernie he said “you didn’t tell me he wasn’t white”. When Matt told him that Ernie was Hispanic his dad then asked, “Well, is he at least half white”? When Matt said no, his dad replied “well I like him so in my mind he will be half white”. His dad is older and seems so very nice but that comment was out right racist and rude. It made me upset that he insinuated that Ernie was only worth anything if he had Caucasian blood in his heritage. It also made me understand how racism is still so prevalent and being taught in communities and passed down by generation. It made me sad to see that that people still have such close minded and prejudice views in today’s society. I have been in the military for so long where there is a zero tolerance for prejudice that I forget those not in our environment still believes this way.

Culture Interview

For this assignment I wanted to choose 3 people with very different back grounds to compare their views.  I interviewed Ernesto who is a 34 year old Hispanic male, Jonathan who is a 17 year old with a Causation mother and African American father and Belinda who is a 53 year old Caucasian female. This is what they had to say:

Ernest:  Culture is the environment a person is raised in and makes them what they are.  Diversity is people coming from different backgrounds-being different from one another not just because of race but as an individual person.  My twin brother and I are both Hispanic but still very different people.

Jonathan:  Culture is society’s way of life. It is a person’s customs, religion, food and the way they wear their clothes.  Diversity is each person’s individuality. 

Belinda: Culture is how we are raised and what is passed down to us from the generations. It is where we come from and what we believe in.  Diversity if the differences in us all that make the world what it is today.

In this course, culture as a person is raised and heritage have been mentioned.  Also customs, religions, food and dress have been pointed out as specific examples of surface culture.  Nothing about power struggles or dominant cultures were mentioned.  I was surprised that everyone’s definitions were pretty similar.  I think that is a positive sign that society is progressing in our understanding of culture and the appreciation of others.

Expanding Resources

I chose the Childrens Defense Fund located at: http://www.childrensdefense.org/
The history of this organization tells of being born from the Civil Rights movement in Mississippi near my own hometown and founded they year I was born, 1973. They have been involved in such activities as seperating children and adults in jail cells, medicaid reforms, pregnancy prevention, vaccination programs, and most recently worked with my favorite television show: Idol Gives Back. The foundations has opened a retreat Center called Haleys Farm that trains activists and others for working with children. I subscribed to updates and information as well as the newsletter to stay informed of current progress and actions.